Eff Off
by C.M.Bruce
Summary: Kagome asks Sesshoumaru to take her virginity before she dies. Rated for adult situations,adult substances, language, and an attempt of suicide.


**The original title is **_**Fuck Off**_**, but since I can't title that on the main page, it's good enough right here. :)**

**This piece is dedicated to all those girls who desperately wish to be with that ONE GUY! You know what I'm talkin' about!**

**BETA READERS: If you'd like you can check out this one for me and edit it. :) I'm always in need of a second opinion.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha even though I'd LOVE to, cuz I'm pretty sure they bring in a hell of a lot of money that I desperately need right now. ;) as does everybody else.**

**WARNING: This is an ADULT story so expect crude language, sex, adult substances, and probably more. **

**I REALLY hope you guys enjoy this one. I got the inspiration from sitting in class and I overheard some girls talkin about this one guy. He's Jamaican and his name is Nick. I looked over and indeed he's adorable. So I daydreamed a lil (the start of all my stories) and imagened what would it be like if that actually happened. SO! Here it is! The main story actually strays from the original point as I wrote it but hey, :) I think it's still great. And I also got a new program with spell check, so now I won't feel like a tard when posting stories. Haha!**

**:D Enjoy!**

I could feel his eyes on me again. Was this really how it was going to be? It was supposed to be a one time thing, he did it all the fucking time! So, what the hell was the problem? I decided to just continue ignoring him, and I fixed my attention on the teacher and some lesson I was sure to never understand.

The bell rang. I jumped up, already prepared five minutes early, I wasn't about to get caught by Sesshoumaru. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. It was never supposed to be this awkward. He was supposed to take my virginity and leave. What the hell went wrong?

"Kagome! Stop!" I stopped and growled low. My anger sky-rocketed.

"What?" Half the hall's mass was glancing at us now. They were probably shocked that I spoke to him like that. I wasn't anyone special. I was supposed to be grateful he even acknowledged me, let alone know my name.

"Wait a sec. Please?"

"Why are you being like this?

"I can't just let last night go." I looked at him, shocked. I couldn't help the sad little flutter in my heart but I had to brush it away.

"We agreed days before we even did this that it was a hit-it-and-quit-it deal. So what the fuck do you want?"

"You can't possibly mean that. You can't just forget about-"

"Yes I can cuz it didn't mean anything! You took my virginity, you didn't save me from an assassination attempt or some bullshit like that!" He sat staring at me with a blank expression before shifting his feet awkwardly.

"Every girl in the school wants to be with me, why-"

"I don't." Again he gave me a silence. I wish I didn't have to lie to him but he can't get caught up in this... The tardy-bell rang then, alerting us of class starting without us.

"I gotta go. Just forget about me." My heart desperately wanted to hug him, feel him against me again, but I couldn't. I began to walk off. I got a few feet before I heard a soft,

"I can't." I just kept walking, acting as if I didn't hear him. But I did. Why couldn't he just forget about me? He had fucked tons of girls and left them only minutes later, used and heart broken. I remembered the conversation we had had, how awkward it had been.

**4 days ago**

"Wait... what?" Sesshoumaru stood before me, shocked out of this mind. I had pulled him off to the side of the hall away from everyone. At first he was disgusted and slightly shocked I had even touched him. I had simply asked him out right. There was no reason to beat around the bush, even though my face was bright red from embarrassment and my heart was beating a million times per minute.

"I want you to take my virginity." He began to look around, as if expecting all this to be a huge joke by his buddies. He looked back at me, his face twisted in disbelief and curiosity.

"Why?"

"Why are you even asking?" My irritating was slowly climbing its way to the top. My embarrassment was eating away at me and I just wanted to get this over with. All I wanted to do was get laid before I died. Was that so wrong?

"Because I don't even know you!"

"So? That's never stopped you before."

"What makes you think I even want to have sex with you?"

"It's sex. Who cares who it's with? And don't even try telling me that _you_ do!"

"Your not even-" I cut him off before he could finish,

" I know I'm not pretty. I'm not even all that skinny, but at least I'm not ugly or nasty. Right?"

"That's not even what I was gonna say."

"Just do this. Please?"

"But... Why?" I just walked off. I didn't even bother to answer him. It wasn't his business why. And, as I walked away, he yelled down the hall,

"Fine! I'll do it!" My heart skipped several beats and a huge smile leapt to my face.

Later that night I thought over what I was going to do. I wasn't me at all, but I wanted to know what it was like before... I didn't want to think about it yet. The plan had to be perfect, I knew that if I thought about it I'd back out, and that _couldn't _happen. I wasn't a slutty girl, AT ALL. Hell, I had never even _kissed _a boy willingly. Not because I wasn't good enough but because... I hated all boys and ,especially, all men.

I knew Sesshoumaru would use me just like I was going to use him, so I didn't care. I thought to myself that night,

"I might as well lose it to someone worth while. Someone I've wanted for years." That night I slipped out my window to sleep in the park again.

**Present**

The day went by slowly. I didn't know where I wanted to be more, home away from Sesshoumaru or school away from my father. Both were pretty unpleasant but if I really had to chose one, it had to be Sesshoumaru. I saw him during every passing where he would to catch my eyes, which I promptly ignored.

I lied. It wasn't just sex to me, and having him say it was like my heart ripping but I couldn't get involved with him. He'd just find someone better to replace me eventually anyway. Besides, in a day or two, I won't even be here anymore. I won't be here at all. I couldn't help but to smile at that thought.

"What are you smiling about?" My stomach burst with butterflies but I had to sooth them away before I spoke. I took refuge in the library everyday after school but only until six, when it closed. I always pretended to be working on homework so they wouldn't kick me out early but I think they knew the truth.

Sesshoumaru was leaning against a book shelf in front of me.

"About you getting hit by a car." He scowled. Standing straight, he walked towards me slowly, like a scientist would study an animal. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Your friend, Sango. She said you'd be here. We have 7th period together. And, before you ask, I know her from Miroku." Of course he does. Miroku was his best friend, and Sango was mine. Him and Sango had an off and on thing, they have for years. Miroku really did love her, he just loved the female body almost as much.

"Okay... So what do you want?" I set my pencil down.

"What are you writing?" He took a seat across from me and glanced at the notebook on the table. I suddenly became frightened, he couldn't see my journal. It had _everything_ in it.

"It's just my journal." I said as I tucked it away.

"Anything in there about me?" He smiled and tilted his head softly. My heart beat when I realized he was teasing me.

"No. It's mostly just a retelling of my days."

"What about _that _day?" His smile dropped suddenly and he looked sad. I couldn't take this anymore. I was going to cry and give in to him.

"Listen, I really gotta go-" I started to get up.

"I know about your dad." I froze. Fuck! Sango, damn you. Embarrassment and shame road my body until my vision blurred.

"You don't know shit!" I raged out. Tears stung my eyes painfully. My chair clattered to the floor as I stood, attempting to leave.

"Let me help!"

"I don't need your fucking help, Sesshoumaru! Fuck off!" I grabbed my bag but at the same time so did he, and as he attempted to stop me, my bag flung upside down and all my books feel to the floor. I scrambled to pick them up as fast as I could. I noticed out of the corner of my eye Sesshoumaru run off. What a dick! He didn't even help me when it was his fault in the first-

I looked around suddenly, and re dumped my bag. That son of a bitch! I ran after him as fast as I could. As soon as I hit the hall way I screamed after him.

"Sesshoumaru! Give it back!" I looked for him everywhere but I didn't find him. He was gone, and so was my journal. No matter how unprepared I was, the deed would have to be done tonight if I was going to be able to do it at all. I sure hope so.

I creeped into my window slowly. If I was lucky, my father wouldn't be home. I dropped my bag in the corner and looked about my room solemnly. I played some soft music to put my nerves at rest but it wasn't much help. I took a deep breath and pulled a small box from the bottom drawer of my dresser and set it neatly ,and ever so gently, on top. I pulled out an outfit I prepared a week before. It was my favorite A dark pair of jeans and a plain white tight-fitting shirt with a white spaghetti-strap underneath.

I ridded myself of my shoes and socks, put on a fresh pair of panties and dressed in my cute outfit. I grabbed my box and sat on my bed. My safe warm bed... not so safe anymore. Not since mom died. I stroked the comforter before flopping back on it. Images of Sesshoumaru reading my journal plagued my mind.

"It doesn't matter now." I opened my box and emptied contents into my hand. My heart pounded even harder.

"Here we go." I said, trying to calm my aching head and heart. My hand shook from fear as I grabbed the bottle of water from my nightstand and gulped down the hydro's. They were to lessen the pain.

I heard a crash from downstairs. My father was home. I ran and locked the door. I doubted he was wasted this early in the evening but there was always a first. I returned to my bed and grasped the razor blade in hand. Someone was coming down the hall. I raised the blade to my wrist, the pills taking effect. He was at my door. He shook my door handle trying to get in. I inhaled and held it. I sliced my first wrist, my hand trembled so I didn't go as deep as I wanted but blood still flowed down my wrist and arm. I cried out. As my head became fuzzy from the pills, my wrist merely began to tingle.

At my cry, though, the person at the door began to pound as hard as they could to try to get the door open. My heart in my ears, I couldn't think anymore, my breathing so labored I couldn't hardly hear anything else.

"Don't do it, Kagome! Please!" The pounding at the door matched the pounding of my heart as both deafened me.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Please ,Kagome. Open the door!" I couldn't even if I tried. I couldn't even stand up. I couldn't even life my hand to cut again.

I began to cry. How did it get to this? If mom hadn't of died, I'd still be okay. Dad wouldn't pretend I was her, I'd still be okay. Before I knew what was happening, Sesshoumaru had busted through the door and had lifted me into his arms I couldn't remember anything after that.

Light was shining into my eyes harshly. I lifted my arm to block it, I saw gauze wrapped around it.

"Oh I'm sorry!" A voice cried out sweetly." Let me get that nasty sun from your eyes." Instantly it vanished and I could see about the room. I expected to be in a hospital, but I was in a bedroom instead. It was almost plain with it's matching dark red furniture and white fabrics. The woman who must have answered me was carrying a laundry basket, busily putting clothes into the dresser to the left of me. I looked myself over, I was wearing only a white, long-sleeved, button-up shirt that was _way_ to big for me.

"Where am I?"

"It's not my place to say. Master Sesshoumaru will tell you as soon as he gets back. Don't you worry." I couldn't help but to panic a little. Master? Where the fuck was I?

"Can't you tell me anything?" My patience withered slightly at her knowing smile, and the mischievous look in her eye.

"I can not. My order was for only Master Sesshoumaru to tell you. He will be back shortly. He has not left your side for several days, I doubt he will change today."

"Days? What's going on?" She slipped out the door before I could ask anything more. I slammed my body back down onto the bed with a loud "ugh!", agitated. He better get back soon or I was going to flip a bitch fit. I lifted my wrist to investigate, unraveling the gauze to inspect the damage. It had been stitched, and ,by the looks of it, with string! The door opened, Sesshoumaru walked in slowly, face blank but posture ridged and straight.

"Why did you unwrap it?"

"Where the fuck am I?" I shouted. He took a step back at my outburst.

"Your at my home-"

"Why?"

"Would you rather of gone to a hospital?" He yelled back, his anger obviously flaring.

"Yes, actually, I would of!"

"They would have put you into a mental hospital for months or even years! And then what? They wouldn't let you go back to your father's! They would put you an a home far away from here!" His voice echoed in the room harshly. I had never thought of that. I didn't have to, because my plan didn't have this ending. I wasn't supposed to be here. I rolled onto my side away from him, tears flowing painfully down my cheeks to soak the sheets below.

"I brought you here. Kaede fixed you up. She did a great job." He seemed to be trying to cheer me up with soothing words but he was terrible at it. I hid my face into the pillows as he rounded the bed to see me. I heard a soft thud as he placed something on the nightstand, and then , a couple seconds later, the door shut with a soft click. I looked up. On the night stand was my journal. That fucking thing! I knocked it off the table with an angry cry, and all it did was taunt me on the floor, open with some pages bent from being pressed to the carpet. I ignored it, burying myself in the soft pillows and blankets. Too depressed to think about anything, I fell asleep.

I woke up slowly. Drifting from my dreams peacefully, like I had before mom died two years ago, that I could no longer do at home. Arms were tucked around me gently. I welcomed them, with soft tears. It had been so long since someone had held me, I missed it so much. The person "shhh"'d me and pulled me in closer, they're large figure forming around mine comfortably. They were warm and inviting, they're scent surrounding me. I knew who it was, and it only comforted me more.

"I'm not supposed to be here."

"Why not?"

"I'm supposed to be dead." He didn't reply back to that, but held on to me tighter. Time had stopped around me. His hot breath on my neck sent chills down my back, the blankets and his body both surrounding me making it seem as if this was all there was, the blackness of the room adding to the effect. It was just me and him, like it had been that night. _That _night; the night that everything had made since again. Everything was _right._ For once I wasn't afraid. For once... I wasn't alone.

"Sesshoumaru?" A silence was his answer. "Why are you doing this?" Sobs shook me gently. I curled up slightly trying to draw myself away from him, but he followed holding on to me still.

"I fell in love with you that night." It just made me cry more. He couldn't possibly mean it.

"Your just mad because I used you."

"You didn't use me. When I stole your journal, I flipped through the last pages. I was only interested in what you said about _me_. That's when I read about you wanting to kill yourself. But while you were asleep these past couple days, I read the rest. You didn't use me. And , no, I didn't use you."

"Than what was it?" I couldn't help but to be hopeful. He took a moment before answering.

"It was... amazing. I had never been that close to someone."

"You have sex all the time." I snapped, slightly confused. Trying to think on what he was saying but all I could think of was him with other girls. I was jealous.

"This was different. It was a little slow, and passionate. All the other times, I was rough and I just wanted to get laid. But you... I didn't want to hurt you. The look on your face... You were so beautiful. For once, I wasn't even sure what to do!" He laughed awkwardly. There was a small smile on my face, before it faded.

"You'll find someone better."

"Kagome, there _is_ no one better." He sat up and rolled me on to my back harshly, I couldn't really see him (the light from the window making hardly any difference), but I could tell he was upset. His position above me had my heart race as I remembered that night and his eyes full of passion. It raced all the more when he leaned closer.

"Please don't..." I trailed off, my brain too numb to function, remembering what it was like to kiss him before: amazing. I couldn't help but to lick my lips. When his mouth settled on mine, I lost it. I didn't care about anything anymore. I didn't care if he'd find someone new within the week, didn't care if I'd get broken. All I cared about was his lips dancing with mine. They were so sweet, full, and moist matching my own perfectly. Soon he was licking my lip and stroking my side gently. When he ran his tongue over mine, I grew wet. Wrapping my arms around him, I willed him to go further. I had missed him so much!

He left my mouth only to lay wet open-mouthed kisses on my neck. I pressed his head closer, arching my back, I wanted him so much closer! His mouth was at the slightly open collar of my shirt and his hand was at my thigh, slowly slipping my shirt up and above my hip. His touch was burning, and I ached. I slipped a moan and I felt him smile against my skin. He sat up and quickly ripped off his shirt impatiently before returning to what he was doing. I was finally adjusted to the lighting. I pushed him back a little, he looked at me startled and a slightly scared look passed over his face. I reached up, though, and slowly began to unbutton the shirt I had on that was probably his in the first place. He smiled and watched me, gripping my thighs in excitement. The last button was undone and he pushed it off my shoulders slowly, as if he was savoring the moment, running his hands over every inch he could reach along the way. It was off and on the floor, I was laying naked beneath him with him just looking me over. This wasn't awkward as it had been the first time, and , for a moment, I felt as if it were real.

Sesshoumaru's mouth was on my breast, kissing and sucking lightly. Enjoying the feeling of him over me, I leaned my head back not wanting it to ever end. His body left mine once more, but only to remove his pants. He returned to me naked. We were panting excitedly. He kissed me again before gripping my legs below my knees and settled between them. My arms were around him again, his forehead resting against mine. I could feel his staggered breath, his lips pink and parted in his pant, and his eyes half-lidded in lust; he looked so fucking perfect.

Aligning himself, Sesshoumaru buried his face in my neck as he began to ease in. It hurt but not as bad as it did the first time. It seemed like forever until he seated himself in me, taking his time. He pulled out and pushed back in slow, groaning and gripping my hip from pleasure. His skin against mine was burning me alive, so consuming, it felt so good. I dug my nails into his shoulders as he pulled out and pushed in again. I held on for dear life as he rode me, fearing that if I let go he'd disappear. I couldn't go without him ever again.

Moans filled the room, the bed squeeking lightly, and sweat covered our bodies. The moment was perfect, _he_ was perfect as he was consumed in his own pleasure, I _felt_ perfect as he ran his large hands everywhere. I couldn't help but let out a small scream when I came, arching up off the bed. He felt so fucking good! His large dick sliding in and out, bringing me over the edge like a huge wave, numbing my body from head to toe and obscuring my vision. He pounded into me harder, trying to reach his peak faster, it only made me scream again from pure estacy. Sesshoumaru pulled out quickly, grabbing the sheets behind him, and came in it, gasping out a moan. He fell back down to his elbow and kissed me, still cumming in the sheet.

When he was done, he rolled up the sheet and tossed it in the corner, I was still catching my breath. Rolling to his side, he traced my tummy with his fingers and watched my chest move up and down.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked honestly. Was he thinking about how he was going to make me leave? Was he thinking about how he was going to lie to me? Or was he thinking about turning me in to the cops so that they could take me away since he had his fill of me?

"Do you want to be with me?" He didn't once look up at me, just watched my moving chest and traced my bellybutton. Did I want to be with him? I thought of everything that might happen. He might leave me for someone prettier, might get bored of me or get irritated at me, he might even realize that I wasn't good enough for him. Did I want to risk getting my heart ripped out... Yeah.

"I've wanted to be with you for four years." He stopped twiddling with me and looked up at me finally, expressionless.

"I didn't even know you until you asked me to take your virginity." A sly smile played at his lips, I knew he felt sorry. I only laughed. It was expected for him not to know me. I wasn't altogether outgoing and him being the most popular boy at school didn't help either.

"I know."

"I wish I did..." He trailed off. " Will you be with me now?"

"Why do you want me to be with you? I'm not anyone special."

"I think you are... I think your beautiful and you didn't fuck me because of my money or because I was hot but because you really wanted _me_."

"You don't know that."

"I read your journal! I'm pretty sure I know everything there is to know about you." He laughed out. I had totally forgotten about that. All I could do was laugh with him.

"So..." He started in a playful tone.

"So?"

"Come on, Kagome. Date me." He looked at me with a flirty smile and mischeivous eyes, nudging me with his knee. I sighed, pretending to be irritated.

"I guess." I said, rolling my eyes. He laughed before kissing me.

You should have seen their faces when we walked into that school together and holding hands.

**PLEASE don't forget to comment. No flames please, if you don't like it then you don't like it but don't ruin my day with hate filled words please. But I do accept criticism AND, be MATURE about it. Thanks!**

**Love, C.**


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